UNDEAD

IT AMAZED JASON HOW MUCH WEIGHT JOSH HAD GAINED, his ginger goatee a sad reminder of where a chin had once been; but more than anything else, it was the labored breathing that made him uneasy. Pulmonary edema, the doctor had called it—lung water. Josh’s lungs rattled every time he inhaled, something Jason remembered from his grandfather’s heart attack. He used to sit at the old man’s feet with his eyes closed, listening to the wheezing static that seeped into the living room, comforting himself by mouthing the words: Pulmonary edema. He would die a little over a year later at the age of 71. Josh was nowhere near 71 and here he was, three months on medical leave, congestion frantically knocking around his chest like the balls in a Fisher Price Popcorn Pusher. Jason closed his eyes and fought the urge to mouth Pulmonary edema.

So, what’s new? Jason asked.

Josh lowered his veggie burger and wiped his mouth. He dropped the crumpled napkin onto the table and batted it back and forth like a cat. They had grown apart their sophomore year—the year Jason discovered sports, girls, and underage drinking, while Josh continually inked rooftop battles featuring Spider-Man and the Hobgoblin across his textbook covers. Bits of Jason’s old life dropped off like chestnuts until the person he’d been was an embarrassment to the person he’d become. Tiny pinpricks of humiliation danced along the back of his neck as he stared at Josh’s expansive Snake Plissken T-shirt.

I saw Felicity Folds the other day, said Josh.

Who’s that?

Do you really not know?

He knew, but smiled and shrugged for the sake of conversation. The diner was empty except for an elderly couple hunched over their water glasses on the other side of the room, a wall lined with amber Christmas lights. Josh took a drink of water, placing the glass back on the coaster, the shape of his hand superimposed across the condensation like a phantom limb.

Remember Jeanette Mullen from Homeroom? Josh asked. That’s what she goes by now. She’s a porn star, dude. Can you believe it?

Jason took a sip from his straw, even though his glass was empty. The droplets of watered down cola snapping in the straw reminded him of Josh’s shallow breathing. He closed his eyes and listened to the tiny water explosions in Josh’s chest.

Anyway, Josh said, she was doing an appearance at Dream Girls. She wasn’t giving out lap dances or anything, but I did get a Poloroid with her. She said she kind of recognized me.

Jason stared at the melting ice cubes at the bottom of his glass. They seemed so much clearer than the ones from his freezer. He bit into a French fry and stared out the window, the natural light dusting his skin an anemic blue. The wind swirled outside, churning the snow into billowing sheets of mist. Wonderful Christmas Time piped in through the speakers. Paul McCartney’s synthesizer reverberated in his ears and he desperately wished Lizzie was with him. He craned his head, looking to get the waitress’s attention.

Jason’s head swung toward the sound of Josh coughing. He sat helplessly as the phlegm bubbled in Josh’s lungs. The older couple on the other side of the restaurant turned and watched. Jason glared at them until they turned away. The coughing settled into a crackling purr as cars drove past the window, pulping the snow under their tires. Josh slammed his fist on the table, breathless, covering his head in his hands.

I’m not gonna last the year, man, he said.

Is that what they told you?

No, but I can feel it.

Come on, Josh. You don’t know that.

Josh rubbed his face in both palms and exhaled. Jason prayed Josh would compose himself, prayed he wouldn’t have to comfort him. He swore he could see Josh’s heart thumping underneath his shirt. Josh rolled his eyes and smiled.

Yeah you’re right, he said. Let’s just change the subject.

Sounds like a plan. So….

Jason trailed off, glancing out the window. The tumbling snow spattered white his field of vision. Wonderful Christmas Time faded out of the speakers. Josh took a bite of his burger, took a sip of water.

Hey man, you still drawing? asked Jason.

I’m actually working on a comic.

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