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Chapter 17: butt zits never die
October 29th/30th, 1994
Kendra wasn't snooping around. It had been just lying there on the knool post. It was already opened. Sure, she knew Heather hadn't meant to leave it there?and she had to physically take the letter out of the envelope?but that wasn't snooping. She was just curious what her daughter's life was all about?since the only answer she ever got from her daughter was a shrug?and usually a snide shrug at that.
Also, it was obviously computer game related. The reason Kendra had noticed it in the first place was because it was on the post on the way upstairs and she saw the logo on it. She thought it was Will's and, being co-owner of the company, Will's game related stuff was fair to look at. Then she saw Heather's name on the envelope?but curious as to why Heather was getting mail from computer entertainment companies she pulled eased the letter out. That's not snooping. It was more like a game?looking for clues.
Heather spent all her time on the computer. Heather shut them out of even the faintest glimmer of her personal life, which was all in a computer, locked behind a door. Heather had a mysterious Internet friend she'd sometimes talk about but withhold any meaningful information. Heather couldn't be persuaded to get anything more than painfully passable grades in school. How to solve this puzzle? Kendra wished her daughter kept a diary so she could go through it. When playing a game, you never felt guilty. You could do anything. But here, even if Heather did keep a diary, the guilt would keep Kendra from it ?or worse yet, going through the SupraNet logs at work to see what her daughter had been up to. Long ago, when Heather had first got online, Kendra had checked the logs and even though nothing interesting came up she felt terrible about it.
But Kendra wouldn't talk to her anymore. She wasn't an open book like when she was 12, when she used to rest her head on Kendra's lap in front of the TV, play with her mother's hair, come by to see what SHE was doing. Kendra remembered a time when Heather wanted to please her mother rather than actively strive to displease her! In an Adventure Game, the best way to get characters to open up was to give them something they wanted. But what did Heather want? Aside from being left alone and leaving home which were both, according to Kendra, game ending scenarios. Kendra was sure there was a solution to the Heather puzzle. She just needed to find the right item, get enough clues. This wasn't snooping. Heather had left the letter in plain view. It was a hint.
The letter was rather slickly printed with a full colour, modern vector-graphic logo in the corner.
Heather,
Congratulations on your Clan's 5th place win at the Kill-Net Bloody-Sundae Frag-off tournament. Not a small feat considering that the Bloody-Sundae Frag-off event was the largest attended on-line competition in history with some of the industry's top game designers taking part in the competition! As you may know, two of them made it to the top five - but couldn't receive awards or placement since, well, they designed the game!
But you don't have that excuse! No, your only excuse for such a high ranking is unreal game-playing ability! Congratulations. Please find a check for $50 enclosed - your share of the CamelToes clan's win. As a Top 12 contender you will automatically be eligible to compete in the KillNet Death-0-Rama showdown this December. We look forward to seeing you and the rest of the CamelToes clan there.
Bite my gnubs!,
Chuck Mendellson
KillNet Competitions
Kendra stuffed the letter back into the envelope and returned to the bedroom. Lying in bed she thought about this. It seemed strange. Who would have thought all that time playing video games would make you money? Kendra thought this without a trace of irony that she herself stared at a screen all day making games for a living. Her husband rolled over in bed beside her and cuddled.
"Did you see that letter Heather got from Killnet today?" she asked.
"Mmmm." That was a no.
"She got paid fifty dollars for playing games on-line! I don't understand it. You get paid for playing games now?"
"The thing that bugs me," Will mumbled, "is the name. KillNet? What kind of a name is that? Like murder is a cool thing? A sales tool? I don't get it."
Kendra didn't have anything to say to that. She just lay on her back and stared at the ceiling. Will started snoring lightly beside her now. Outside her room she heard her daughter run downstairs, stop at the post at the bottom of the stairs and return to her room, no doubt to pick up her letter before her parents got any clues as to what she did with her life.
Heather jumped back into her chair in her room and re-read the letter. It was very cool. She was going to put it on her wall above her computer. She hadn't even noticed that the letter had arrived until about nine this evening. After she'd gotten up (2pm) and played games (until 3:30) had a shower and had breakfast (around 4:30) played some more games (until 6:30), had dinner (until 8), did some homework (until 8:15) and bummed around, she wandered into the living room and saw a letter set aside by her Dad. She quickly opened it up and excitedly ran upstairs to find Pizzazz on-line. But she wasn't there. Heather'd brought the letter downstairs again to read it around 11pm and forgotten it on the knool post.
Heather checked the computer again. Damn. Carol still wasn't online. What was she doing? Heather'd emailed her two long hours ago. She was excited, she wanted to see if Carol had got the check too?and ask if Casey (their other clan member, from Carol's school) had gotten hers. But no luck. Pizzazz had to come on eventually.
Heather stared at the letter for a while and when she looked back up at the screen there was a flurry of activity. There were only four users in the chatroom at that time, but they seemed to be typing frequent and long questions. Heather put down the letter to catch up. She'd been in some gaming forum talking about the new Dan Destroyem expansion-pack (20 new levels! 2 new guns! 6 new enemies!) that was due out sometime next year.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> It was a pretty good competition. We play better in the office, but for average gamers it was pretty good. They played well.
<Menace_2_Sobriety> I didn't get to watch. Too bad it can't be like TV - cause if you don't get to play in the tournie?you can't watch it.
<FRAGle_Rock> Did you play at the Bloody-Sundae competition, Adam?
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Of course. We came in first place - again, of course.
<Calpis> I heard that the whole EGO games team secretly joins on-line death matches all the time. Is that true?
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Sometimes?usually we're busy designing Gloom 3, though?and Gloom 2 is a little outdated for us now. Also, we're way better than the average gamer so playing on-line isn't as much a challenge as playing each other.
<Calpis> Wow. I'll bet.
<FRAGle_Rock> I can't believe we're talking to Adam Clayburn! This is crazy.
Heather sat up in her chair. Adam Clayburn?! No way. This had to be a joke. She knew those guys came on-line and stuff?but what was the chance of actually meeting them?of them wanting to answer a bunch of lamer fan questions?maybe it was an ego boost for them. She'd heard Adam Clayburn was really cocky - probably because everyone called him the boy genius for his creation of the Gloom engines that he started to believe it. Or maybe he always had an ego. But this could have just been some geek coming on and pretending that he's Adam Clayburn.
Heather reached forward and typed, as Camel Command:
<CamelCommand> What was your team name at BloodyS?
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> That's a secret.
<CamelCommand> As if. Prove you're Adam Clayburn. If you played and came in first?then tell us what your clan name was.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Ha ha. Ok. We went by the name Nerzul.
Well, that was correct. Nerzul had come in officially first?but hadn't received ranking recognition - meaning they were a game company. Well, if it was just some geek, he could have learned that on-line somewhere?the results had been posted. Still?
<CamelCommand> Yeah. You guys played ok.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> CamelCommand, huh? Are you from that Camel team?
<CamelCommand> CamelToes. Yeah.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Heh. Nice name. You guys played ok too. Fifth. Not bad.
<CamelCommand> Well, we're just "average gamers."
<Calpis> So how do you get into the game industry? I want to design games really bad. I've got a couple of cool ideas.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Well, you have to know how to program, first of all. And you have to be really dedicated. It's not all fun and games. You have to work hard.
<FRAGle_Rock> What's Gloom 3 gonna be like? I heard there's way more gore.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> So Camel Command, I guess you're going to the Death-0-Rama in December, then.
<CamelCommand> Of course. We're going to get number 1.
Well, that was accurate too, Heather thought. No-one, except people who had received the letter from KillNet knew when the Death-0-Rama was being held. Maybe it really was Adam Clayburn.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> You mean number 2.
<CamelCommand> Whatever. Why do you bother playing these tournaments if you think it's so easy for you to win?
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> We like winning. Don't you?
<CamelCommand> Sometimes. But taking down a braggart like you will be sweet.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Braggart? Ha ha. That's such an old word. I like it though, seriously. Don't worry your little head about it. I will "smite" you in December.
<Calpis> What programming languages should I learn?
<CamelCommand> We'll see.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> [to CamelCommand] There's a big players-only chat-forum planned after the Death-0-Rama. They probably didn't tell you that because you're just a gamer?but after the competition there's a big on-line 'party' planned?so all the Death-o-Rama competitors can talk about how they played afterwards.
<FRAGle_Rock> Is there more gore in Gloom 3?
<CamelCommand> That sounds cool. We can talk about how sorely you were beaten.
<Corporal_Smashem> Hey Boot_Quaker. I've got a cool game idea too. I wanna see what you think.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> That's Boot_Quaker_Maker.
<Corporal_Smashem> Sorry. There's this spaceship, right? And it's come through this wormhole. But the wormhole is a dimension to hell. But it's not like normal hell - it has all these mummies and Egyptian zombies and stuff. So you're this sergeant and you have to get back this mummy key to close the wormhole.
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Sounds fascinating
<Calpis> I heard I shuld learn C. Should I learn C?
<Boot_Quaker_Maker> Yeah. Or C++. Those are the ones you need to know. But knowing a lot of languages helps.
Heather rolled her eyes. He was just getting bombarded with lamer questions. She disconnected, went to the bed and lay down to read the letter again. She took the stylized Killnet check off of the bedside table and looked at it wondering if she should cash it or keep it as a memento. Maybe she'd take a picture of it and then cash it.
Well, she'd freed up the phone line now and it was late on a weekend so she picked up the phone and dialed Carol's number. The phone rang a couple of times and then it picked up. Heather worried she'd woken up Carol's mom - it was like two thirty in the morning over there - but remembered Carol had her own line.
"Hello?" It was Carol's voice
"Hey!"
Carol laughed. "Hi Heather! I was wondering who was phoning so early!"
Heather smiled. "Yeah. Did you get the letter!?"
"Yeah totally! That's so awesome. It was a kind of cheesy form letter, though."
"Yeah," said Heather. "But it was still cool. Are you gonna cash your check?"
"Probably. I don't need the money, though."
"Yeah. I think I will. But I'm going to take a picture first. Oh! And I talked to Adam Clayburn on-line!!"
"What?"
"Yeah. I was looking for you and I was just going through this chatroom and he was there!"
"Are you sure it was him?"
"Pretty sure. I tested him with a bunch of questions. He says there's gonna be a big chat party after the Death-0-Rama for all the competitors."
"That's so cool. I wish I got to talk to him. I heard he's kind of arrogant. Is he arrogant?"
"Yeah. A little. But he was nice too."
"Wow. You're lucky."
"Definitely. But I left pretty quick because all these dorks were asking these stupid questions like," Heather changed to the best dork voice she could muster, "'So where do you get all your cool ideas?'"
Carol laughed hard. "That's so lame."
"Hey," Heather interjected, "So where've you been all night?"
"Ah, I was at some party."
Heather swallowed her jealousy. She wished she had friends who hosted parties?or even people she liked to hang out with?or a way to get there instead of being stuck in the woods. But it was pretty easy to swallow, she was excited and glad to finally talk to Carol. "How was it?"
"It was ok. Most of the people were too normal for me. Actually, I had this really bad zit on my butt. It's all inflamed and I couldn't sit down because it hurt."
Heather laughed. "That's too funny. I hate butt zits. Butt zits never die."
"Oh well," Carol said, "I guess it's better than getting them on your face. That's a pain in the ass."
There was a pause as they both thought about this breaking out laughing. Really hard.
"But at least you don't sit down on your face," Heather added. They laughed again.
When they'd calmed down Carol interjected, "Hey, do you want me to phone you back?"
"Sure, if you want to." Carol's mom paid the long distance bills all the time. She made all these international calls for her work so she let Carol phone anywhere in the country for free. Carol was lucky.
"Yeah. I wanna talk for a while," Carol said.
"Ok. I'll pick it up quick."
"Ok, talk to you in a few though. I'm gonna go to the bathroom first. I just got in."
"Ok." They hung up. A few minutes later the phone rang again and they talked for who knows how long.
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