SCENE II Part C Enter TEIRESIAS at the top of the stadium waving his walking stick madly and shouting 'I'm here! I'm here!' OEDIPUS Ah, our prophet Teiresias comes! Thank the heavens, for now my…er…I mean OUR problems will be solved. Teiresias knows all and sees all. Well, sees most except for important stuff like doors and what not. And he's got these wonky eyes that look in both directions. It's like, he's looking at two of you at the same time…but he can't see either of you. Freaks you right out. Still, he should prove invaluable in tracking down Laius' murderer... Come on down, Teiresias old buddy! TEIRESIAS Oedipus, Oedipus! I'm here! I'm here! I finally made it. I've been wandering for days trying to find the Palace, but, of course, I'm blind so that makes things a little difficult. But anyway... TEIRESIAS trips on the stairs and begins tumbling down the 400 or so concrete steps of the auditorium. OEDIPUS AND THE PALACE GUARDS look on in horror. About half way down TEIRESIUS ricochets his head off of a concrete step. OEDIPUS and the OEDIPUS GOLD DANCERS cringe. OEDIPUS [muttering] That's gotta hurt. TEIRESIAS Ow! Oof! Ouch! Ack! Uh! [Crash! Smack! Boing! Bounce. Crack. Ping! WHACK!! Thump!] Silence. O-K! I'm Oooooooh-K! TEIRESIAS gets up and dusts himself off. OEDIPUS walks up to him. Well that's just great. Falling down a flight of stairs in front of the King just tops off my day! Ack! I'd trade all this wisdom crap for some eyeballs, you know? All this prophet stuff does is get people into trouble anyway. Hmm, maybe I could steal that eye from the Graeae sisters... OEDIPUS Did you have a nice trip? TEIRESIAS SHUT UP!! OEDIPUS Man, you're in a foul mood. What's wrong? TEIRESIAS [Facing away from OEDIPUS] Ahh, I don't know why I even bothered to come here. I should just go home. OEDIPUS Teiresias, I'm over here. TEIRESIAS Oh. [TEIRESIAS turns, now facing a different wrong way but OEDIPUS doesn't have the heart to correct him.] OEDIPUS What do you mean you don't know why you bothered to come? It's gonna be great! Now we can solve this plague! We can get a few beers. Maybe we can find a vase somewhere and get some horse dung and some mud and sticks and-- TEIRESIAS I'm afraid the news is not the kind you're going to want to hear. No, it's better off if I don't tell you. OEDIPUS What?? The city is in ruins! I'm in trouble! You gotta tell me! TEIRESIAS Trust me. You don't want to know. And you really have no idea of what's actually going on…and I think telling you is just going to make things worse. I don't want to get tripped up in the whole mess... OEDIPUS Yeah, you're one to talk about tripping… Come on, you have to tell us otherwise Thebes will fall apart. TEIRESIAS Nope. My mind is made up. OEDIPUS You know someone who knows about an enemy of the state and won't tell is a traitor! You're either with us or against us! TEIRESIAS Get a grip! You sound like a fourth grader! I'm HELPING by not saying anything here! OEDIPUS Why the hell did you come all the way out here? Just to be a dink? Come on, tell us! TEIRESIAS Nope. OEDIPUS [Silence] Please? TEIRESIAS No. OEDIPUS Pretty please? TEIRESIAS I said no. OEDIPUS Pretty please with SUGAR on top? TEIRESIAS No! OEDIPUS [Silence] I'll let you touch my throne... TEIRESIAS Thanks, but no. OEDIPUS I'll let you wear the royal phallus... TEIRESIAS As tempting as it is, nothing will make me speak. OEDIPUS Surely there is something you want... TEIRESIAS Well... OEDIPUS What? What is it? TERESIAS Let me feel your wife... OEDIPUS WHAT?!? No way! TEIRESIAS Well, I heard she was really...um...beautiful and... er... sexy... but I can't see... so... OEDIPUS Absolutely not! TEIRESIAS Well, I guess you just don't want to know bad enough, then... OEDIPUS Not that bad you dirty old spuz! TEIRESIAS Ha. Even then I wouldn't tell you. You'll find out soon enough anyway. OEDIPUS What's that supposed to mean?! [Silence] Fine. Jerk. Nobody likes you anyway cause you've got big wonky, googly eyeballs, captain Glaucoma! TEIRESIAS Fine, make jokes about my eyes. Go ahead. We'll see how funny they seem to you at the end of the play... OEDIPUS [Turning to the audience and shouting] WHY? IS SOMETHING GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY EYES AT THE END OF THIS PLAY? [The foreshadowing sign flashes] TEIRESIAS Ha! You'll see…or won't see, as it were. OEDIPUS There is no reason for you not to speak unless you are involved! You incriminate yourself! You must have planned this! I'd accuse you of carrying it out too if I didn't know you were blind! What now? Are you here to tear me from the throne in your sick twisted plot?! To torment me with your threatening vague prophesies? NEXT!: Them's fightin' prophecies!
	Scene 1 - Scene 2 - Scene 3 - Scene 4 - Forum - Author/Contact All contents copyright ©Leopold McGinnis. All Rights Reserved.