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And so the challenge began, each of them giddy at the thought of easily mastering the contest. The rules? You had to drink three litres of chocolate milk in an hour and keep it down for an hour afterwards. During this time you can not 'cheat' by defecating. Only urination is allowed. May the dumbest man win.
There was no money involved, just the satisfaction of proving the challenge wrong; that it could be done. I know what you're thinking. Three litres doesn't seem like that much. It certainly seems plausible... Now this seems to be a common deficiency in the human brain. When you explain the Chocolate Milk Challenge to someone, they immediately guffaw at your suggestion that it cannot be done. The vast majority of people believe that it can be done, and, quite easily, in fact. Despite any persuasive arguments and anecdotes to the contrary, it only encourages them more to disprove it. They become indignant at the suggestion that they are wrong and cannot do it. "No," they claim, "it's easy. It's a piece of cake! I could do it!" Or, even if they believe that it wouldn't be a piece of cake, then the average person at least believes that they personally can conquer three litres. Arguing to the contrary only strengthens their resolve. Those who have heard of the Challenge before will often dig up a counter-tale of so-and-so so-many years ago who defeated the Challenge. "It can be done!"
And so, owing to this defect in their brain, these five challengers sat at the table grinning at each other and their chocolate milk. They were all quite merry as they drank and the minutes slowly ticked by…cracking jokes, discussing the rules. After a few moments of watching this mundane and silly Sunday afternoon spectacle I retired once again to my bedroom where I played video games…or masturbated. Or both. I don't remember. I probably masturbated. Helps release the dumeon energy. Regardless, I emerged about 40 minutes later, about 50 minutes into the hour, to find the group now standing in the hallway, chatting.
Dan, the smallest, lightest and wiriest of the group had, apparently, been the first to go out. Even by Chocolate Milk Challenge standards he had been a big failure. Just over a litre into the challenge he slowed nearly to a halt and turned a shade green. After a few moments of wandering the green, grassy fields of Pukesville Dan bolted out of the kitchen for the washroom. Did this deter the rest? No. It had served as a confidence booster. They were winning!
Next! yet more Dumeon!
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