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Now this is, so far, the end of the story except for a certain footnote. Informing my unusually intelligent girlfriend of this event the day after, instead of receiving reproach for talking gloriously of such a bizarre and stupid spectacle, she shrugged and claimed that 'she could do it.' Amazing. Apparently, dumeon build-up even affects university women. Anyway, this is not the footnote. Not long after this my brother and father came west to visit me. The challenge had now reached mythical proportions. It was amazing. It needed to be told. I couldn't not tell it. And so, of course, I regaled them with the story.
My brother, who prided himself at the time on being able to conquer any meal (and felt ashamed when he couldn't) and who was the physical type to be an excellent contender, believed he could meet the challenge. He being my brother, I felt obligated to prevent him from pursuing such a silly action. Surely, a handful of large university students over two years failing would be enough to convince one…but apparently not. He could not be swayed. Indignant, I challenged him, if it was so easy, to do it at Christmas when I returned home. He agreed - but I figured it would be the last I heard of it. However, when I talked to my Papa over the phone a few days later, I learned that Anatol had bought a litre carton of chocolate milk and swigged it on the drive home. "He's training," my dad said. He was going to practice for the challenge! It had never been attempted. My brother confirmed his intention to train and practice before I came home himself in further discussions over the phone. He was serious about taking the challenge at Christmas.
November passed and it was well into December. I hadn't heard or mentioned Chocolate Milk Challenge to my brother as it was now fading in history. But, upon returning home and having dinner one night near Christmas, I suddenly remembered my brother had wanted to attempt the challenge. I still believed he would come to his senses so I asked him about it. My father told me that in late November, my brother, during a lunch break at school, had picked up a 2 litre jug of chocolate milk and chugged it all back as practice. 15 minutes later he went back out behind the school and puked his guts out. He had failed the challenge before it had even begun.
And so, to this day, the Chocolate Milk Challenge remains undefeated. I am more than ever convinced that it cannot be done. Are you?
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