Julie and Ella had gone to bed in front of the tree, both were trussed up in their sleeping bags, basking in the light. Mr. Albert was standing at the front door now, his coat on and hat in his hands. We had sat at the kitchen table drinking, me talking, and listening to the radio for a while. It was about midnight now.

"You know," I said, "You don't have to go..." A pause. He just shook his head and put on his hat. In a way I was relieved. Turning to go he waved and started down the walk. I watched him from the window as he walked across the dark street and went up into his house. Then I turned to look at Julie. She was sleeping peacefully on the floor.

Sigourney had come over for coffee a day or two after Christmas. Mr. Albert had gone out with Julie, taken her to the wave pool or something. She had nothing to do so I invited her in for some coffee and cake. Mr. Albert had made me the cake.

"This cake is wonderful."

"Mr. Albert made it for us."

"It figures. He makes you a lot of stuff. He never makes me anything. Maybe he likes you."

"What do you mean he doesn't make you anything?"

"Well, occasionally he'll make me a cake for a special event but he's only known you a month and you've got cake, and cookies and a Christmas tree...Is there something going on between you two?"

"I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"I like him."

"In that way?"

"I don't know. That's the problem. I mean, he takes care of Julie, and he's very nice and responsible. I don't know if I like him that way. I don't know if there's anything sexual in it."

"Men like him are hard to find, honey."

"I know. But he's older than me."

"Now I think you're just making up excuses. Age doesn't make much difference. If I were you I'd go for him."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, it's obvious he likes you. And he's a great find. He takes care of Julie, he'll help you through school. Plus, he's handsome."

"I suppose."

"And he makes great food."

I smiled. There was a knock at the door. I took another sip from my coffee and got up. Sigourney got up too. "That's probably him right now."

Opening the door Julie came in and ran upstairs, taking her boots off on the way up. They bounced down the stairs. She had to go to the bathroom. Mr. Albert was standing in the doorway.

Amused

"How was the wave pool?"

He nodded. His hair was frozen wet and his cheeks had that certain look of someone who had been in a hot pool and then in the cold snow. I couldn't help wondering if he took his box off to go swimming…and what he must look like without it.

"Well," said Sigourney with a knowing smile, "I better be going now. I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Albert. And you've got my number Amaljia so phone me." She stepped out the door and then turned around and winked at me behind Mr. Albert's back. Then she started to walk away down the block.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked him. He nodded and I smiled. Putting on my boots and coat I yelled up to Julie, "I'm going out for a walk."

"OK!" she yelled from within the depths of the bathroom.

We stepped out into the sunlit snow and walked down the sidewalk. The street was empty as it always was. Not many people passed through here. It was a nice area. We could see the park just at the end of the street by the tennis court and we headed towards it. It was a nice day out and the temperature was just comfortably below zero. Not too cold or windy, it was calm.

"I like this weather. I always liked Christmas time. It all seems very peaceful to me, romantic."

Calm

"Yeah," I said, "It is calm."

Untroubled

I smiled. Stepping up to the park we began to climb the pathway that was buried under the snow. We walk past the small playground and picked a spot at the top of the hill, looking down over the small houses and sat down.

"Julie likes to sled down this hill. We had a hill down by my house when we were little. In the winter I used to slide down it and in summer I used to ride my bike down it. I don't know, I guess I have a sort of attachment to hills. They're very peaceful. Don't you think?"

Peaceful

I looked at him a while, peering deep into his eyes, trying to find something. There was nothing in there.

"It's kind of romantic up on this hill, just blanketed in snow, don't you think?" I didn't even look at his box, just into his eyes but I still couldn't find anything. Well, there was no use waiting for something to appear, so I took my hand and pulling him forward by his chin I kissed him. He didn't kiss back and when we pulled away he just looked at me for a moment.

Surprised

There was a long pause and then he stood up, walked a few feet and then lay down in the snow. Moving his arms and legs he began to make a snow angel, but his left arm wasn't moving right. It would sort of pull in and extend as he arched his hands...just like Julie's. He got up and sat down beside me again and we both looked at the stumpy snow-angel.

I smiled at him and I understood. Taking his hand I rested my head on his shoulder and looked out over the hill.

I think a little bit about him. I don't understand why it took so long for him to come back. I don't know. And do I forgive him for running off on me? I don't know. In his position I don't even know if I would come back at all. I guess it takes a lot of courage to come back and give love...especially if you're not sure if you have it. I've already grown accustomed to him. I don't know what I think. I'm glad to have a dad, one I love instead of hate. Even if it is a little late. We can look after each other.

Looking out over the hill I feel comfortable here, in the silence. If ever there was a moment in time where I belonged, it's here and now.