Or maybe, there was this, like, this big glass of blueberry cool-aid sitting on the editor's desk and he had his feet up on the table and he knocked it all over a bunch of submissions and, well, rather than admit that that giant kool-aid jug with the smily face on it burst through the big brick wall and angrily tore your story to shreds yelling 'Ohhhh Yeah!!', we decided it would just be easier to send you a rejection letter. Or, no, wait! Wait! What if, there was, like, this race of beings that, like, survives on clichéd writing --- no wait, that's not it. How about this? Somehow, you're story causes Hitler to be reborn in the future or something, so, they had to send back a time traveler from the resistance in the future to destroy your manuscript and prevent the Holocaust 2. Coulda happened.

Or what if, like, your story was sooo bad that Issac Asimov himself started to roll in his grave so fast that, like a top, he blasted out through the earth, spinning through the sky and bombing through our office window to enforce his editorial judgement! You can't print this crap in my magazine, you kaka-sucking cat masterbators! And then he breathed flames onto it and flew off into space shouting: To Earth and Beyyyyyyond!

That one even did happen. A few weeks ago. So, you see, there's really a limitless universe of possibilities on why your manuscript was rejected, just like sci-fi itself. The End.

My Rebuttal: I like how they gave odds that my piece was rejected because it was trite. I mean, I don't know for sure, but I can be pretty sure. That's close enough to knowing for sure, right? Clears up all doubt why my manuscript was rejected, doesn't it? Thanks. (Sarcasm! Sarcasm!) Actually, if I had to guess, I'd say that that was the reason why this was rejected. Honestly, I don't think the premise of this story was all that original, actually. It was more the way it was told and the characters that I thought were interesting. Which makes it another reason why it was probably rejected. Sci-fi generally values quirky ideas, what-ifs and action adventure over interesting characters or crisp writing.

I also like how they had to explain why it's important for a writer to spell properly. I mean, that's pretty obvious, right? But they went ahead and gave us a carpenter/electrician example just to clear it up. Ohhhhhh, like a carpenter. I get it...

All in all, though, a rather amusing rejection letter. Would have been nice if the editor bothered to sign it...I mean, he did put a space for it and everything...