Winnipeg author,
Victor Schwartzman, ordered a copy of
The Red Fez. At a teenage party hosted in his house by his 16 year old daughter, the book subsequently disappeared. It is very likely that it was pilfered by one of the unruly house guests. Not only is this wildly appropriate for a book like
The Red Fez (you'll just have to read it to find out why), but you can
NOT buy street cred like that!
Here is a dramatized confessional of what probably happened by Victor himself:
"I was at the house of some girl I don't even know, who was giving a 16th birthday party for some other girl I don't know, when someone asked me if I knew what Red Fez was, and I said I don't know. I don't know a lot. But I do know what I like.
Later that evening, somewhere between the case of Molson's and the case of Moosehead, I came across this very interesting little book. From the first moment I picked it up, I was entranced by the image of a potentially nefarious person twirling his mustache while plotting evil deeds. What plotting? What deals? What mustache? In the end, I had only one choice. I had to steal the book.
Yes, I could have asked for it, but as I stood there, twirling my own mustache, I thought, why bother? So I took it, and put it in my pocket next to my most important body part, apart from my brain. And then I left the party early, even though some of the people were taking their clothes off, because the magnetic pull of Red Fez was too great.
I went straight home, well I was not straight by then, but I did go home, and I read it and it gave me ideas, and I am now sitting here, twirling my mustachioes, thinking of this Leopold McGinnis guy, and whether he is part of the Guiness family and can get me a case of Scotch. I have learned many things from Red Fez. Unfortunately, most of them are despicable, but also unfortunately, so am I."
Victor then purchased ANOTHER copy from this humble author. All in all, everyone benefitted, as should you, if you dare order...
The Red Fez.