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English 101

by Joe Reese



T

O THE EDITORS:



I’m a lifelong English professor. Due to the recent violence on college campuses, a number of NRA supported groups have advocated allowing students to carry guns in classrooms. They reason that armed students (who have completed a handgun safety course) could defend themselves against terrorists or lunatic shooters. I have always thought that an insane idea, but these NRA people keep writing letters to the editor, and, finally, they have convinced me. After doing handgun safety research, I have amended my syllabus accordingly, and submit it for your perusal.


ENGLISH 101
BASIC COMPOSITION
(PENDING NRA APPROVAL)
Instructor:  Joe Reese
Office Hours:  TTh 3-5


Required Course Texts:
Sperry, Thomas and Studstill, Paul.  The Writing Process. Second Edition, 2001
Orstoff, Thomas. Research and Documentation in the Electronic Age. New York:  McGraw-Hill, 2003.
Nash, David. “Barricade Firing.”  www.nra.com
Hawkes, Chuck. “A Beginner’s Guide to Stopping Power.”  www.targetmaster.com

Supplies:
A binder for Blackboard materials/handout
1 pocket folder (for turning in formal papers)
A high quality, safe, handgun for EACH student
NOTE:  Recommended weapons are:
- Beretta 950 BS, .25ACP, SA auto, Blue, 8, 4.5”, 2 1/2”, fixed poor, 8, 25
- Kahr PM9, 9x19, DAO auto, Sts, 14, 5.3”, 3”, fixed good, 7, 89


Students should please note:  any other weapons can be brought to class only with a note from the student’s parent and/or legal guardian.

Course Description:
This course is an introductory composition and rhetoric course. Our focus in this class is on the process of writing. Because we will only be meeting twice a week for an extended amount of time, it is crucial that you complete all reading assigned and come prepared to talk and write. Since it is also possible that we may be attacked at any time by one or more gunmen, you will be expected to defend yourself and your classmates at all times. All students will be required to possess, bring to class, and be able to use effectively, a defensive handgun.

Note:
Under no circumstances are offensive  handguns to be allowed in classrooms, public spaces, or any university property. Students arriving in class with an offensive and not defensive weapon will be required to return to their dorms immediately, and re-arm themselves.
Further Note Concerning Derringers and cell phones:   Cell phones can be highly disturbing, and constitute a breach of academic decorum. Likewise, derringers are single shot weapons, and, while useful in classroom debate, cannot be used against multiple assailants. Therefore:  CELL PHONES AND DERRINGERS ARE PROHIBITED IN CLASSROOMS AT THIS UNIVERSITY.


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About Joe Reese


I've been teaching English for 36 years, during which time I've been fired by every educational institution in the country.

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