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e finds you like they always find you: through a friend of a friend, a number scrawled on a bathroom wall. First names only, smoke in the air, music he doesn’t like pounding in his head. It makes you smile. You try to hide it with your hand, but kind of don’t care, too.

“You’re taller than I figured,” he says.
For an instant you see it in his eyes, that maybe you’re the wrong guy, that he was about to ask some complete innocent to do the dirty thing he needs doing.

You settle your eyes on him, say it: “That supposed to be some kind of code, man?”

He opens his mouth but there’s no words.

It always catches them off-guard, not trading lines back and forth like they’ve been told to expect. For an instant you see it in his eyes, that maybe you’re the wrong guy, that he was about to ask some complete innocent to do the dirty thing he needs doing. But then you shrug, tongue your lower lip out to keep from smiling more—he is a client, after all—and give him the line he’s been told to expect: “The stature of a man isn’t measured in feet or in inches, but in acts.”

The muscles around the guy’s eyes relax.

“Tweak,” you say, extending a half-gloved hand.

The guy smiles, makes up a name for himself on the spot: “Ash.”

This is business.

If it didn’t happen at least twice a week—some loser lurching from the shadows of the bar, his fingers clenched around a grubby little fetish—you’d be back to stamps, probably.

Not that hand-to-mouth doesn’t have a certain appeal to you, of course.

It would be nice to pull a client that you could actually talk to, though. Just once, anyway. Talk bands and gear and then slope off into the night, to the next place.

But this one, he’s the same nobody as they all are: grey hair neat and trim, hands soft, neck twitchy. If you put a scope on his heart, you know it’d be thumping like a rabbit’s, too. He’s burning a week’s worth of calories just standing in this place, so far off his beaten path that it’s like stepping into a movie.

A wad of cash under the sole of his shoe, too. Or lined in his belt.

Because, of course, this might all be a scam.

In the handicapped stall in the bathroom he shows you what he’s into.

Your laptop is balanced across the seat, ready to tip into the water should Vice or somebody crash down through the ceiling.

Instead of a domain, he feeds you an IP.

You nod to yourself, key it in. Don’t know it specifically, but make a few of the early progressions for mirror sequences, which is where most tracers get lost, bouncing back and forth like a pinball, their dendritic cavities filling with noise and light until the signal iterates back into the kaleidoscopic filth of the off-shore data sinks, where nothing gets washed.

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About Stephen Graham Jones

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Stephen Graham Jones is an ace reporter of sorts, tracking down and recording events which most likely haven't happened. Until he writes about them, that is. "Deviants" would be a prime example of this, perhaps, allowing him opportunity to weave his way into a seamy underworld, adopting the guise of, first, many of the bar's usual denizens,...read more then the transients in the alleyway, and on and on until the experience of lycanthropy as it may be expressed in the near-future has been, if not sufficiently rendered, then at least somewhat interrogated. Which is of course the prime responsibility of the ace reporter set. For other of Stephen Graham Jones' unillustrated-yet-colorful reports, see his books: The Fast Red Road, All the Beautiful Sinners, The Bird is Gone, Bleed Into Me: Stories, Demon Theory, and the forthcoming Ledfeather.


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Weeded Garden:

Weeded Garden by Jeffery Crouch & Diana Magallon
Weeded Garden
by Jeffery Crouch & Diana Magallon