Christmas Bliss



Time to time in our society we face minor mishaps, and because of the nature of some, we tend to discount them as rare, especially if they occur over the holidays. And if any embarrassment is attached to the encounter in question, our account of these confrontations may tend toward fiction, or, if you will, just plain lies to assuage our fragile egos. Sometimes stories become lore and are retold with much jocularity by so-called friends who risk becoming sworn enemies.

Now, the following story is true. Take it from me, the writer, I know. It happened to me this past Christmas so just forget I'm using a nom de plume to write about it. This should in no way dissuade you from the pure veracity of my words. I simply don't wish for my nincompoop sisters to know about this. Otherwise I'll never get any rest.

So, here's what happened. Quite innocently I drove to the main post office parking lot one chilly December morning to post Christmas cards. I might add that I send cards to almost everyone whom I have befriended over the years, and each missive always has a personal note enclosed. And I was confident that if I failed to have these gems mailed today, a number of them would arrive after the holidays.

To emphasize the importance of my mission, the reader should know that this is my favorite season of the year and I'll spare no expense or time to enjoy and share it with friends and acquaintances. And one of the family traditions I maintain is baking muffins from a secret family recipe handed down to me by my dear grandmother, Sarah. We call these goodies, "Christmas Bliss." And they are shared with local friends and neighbors and tradesmen who've made special efforts on my behalf.

So, here I am in the post office parking lot looking for the outside postal box. Anyone with any sense knows to avoid the unruly lines inside the post office during this time of year. Trying to negotiate a crowd full of unruly children is a sure sign of insanity, believe me, I know.

So, with my trusty, eco-friendly car, with fake antlers on the roof, I parked in a legal space in the post office lot, and rolled out with my arms full of cards and scooted toward the familiar blue box on the edge of the lot. Now the reader may ask why this idiot didn't just swing into the drive-thru and drop the cards in the box like most other folks? Good question. And yes, most would do just that and think nothing of sitting in a line of cars two blocks long while they sip coffee or check their make-up in the rear view mirror or sing along with the carols on the radio. And they'll do the same at fast food drive-throughs, even to the point of near starvation while they wait. But not me. Time is important…I'm in sales. And I've got a client meeting this morning in an hour halfway across Los Angeles. With a rude noise, my alarm clock reminded me of this appointment at 5 AM this morning.

Deftly I balanced my cards in one arm, and opened the mail drop with the other. "Swish," "thunk," and "ching" followed. The first two sounds I expected. The third I gave no thought to until I returned to my car and reached into my pocket for my keys. No keys there. I retraced my steps to the box and back to the car. I looked around the car. Under it. I even looked on top of it. And scanned a few nearby trees to assure myself that no wiseacre squirrel had snatched my keys off the pavement just to amuse himself at my expense.

Share: 
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Reddit
Pin It
Embed

About Fred Miller


Follow
1 1
Fred Miller is a California writer. Over thirty of his stories have appeared in various publications around the world. Some of these stories appear in his current blog: https://pookah1943.wordpress.com. Born in the Mississippi, Fred maintains many connections with the culture of the Deep South. He spent his...read more professional career in the financial world and now pursues his writing, often with a humorous take on life.
1 comments
Discussion
  6 months ago
Sarah waits, Harold Waites, wassail awaits. It was a uber long trip but the Christmas ending made it worthwhile. Thanks!

People who liked this also liked

Talent Scout

http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">talent scout 1 photo Pg. 1 Talent Scout.jpghttp://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj204/sigersonbks/Pg.%201%20Talent%20Scout.jpg"

... read more >

Poem of the Week

Loop The Loop

Story of the Week

Bottom of the Ninth

Poem of the Week

Loop The Loop

Story of the Week

Bottom of the Ninth

Most Popular

Art History
Dervish it

Graphic of the Week!

Deadmans