Editor's Intro

by Patrick Simonelli

Its June in most of the world, and things are getting hot! I know I have taken to wearing a mankini around town, and have drilled several holes into my fez to allow for ventilation. I think next time I may take the fez off first before I drill the holes, but who can say for sure. Life is all about choices and spontaneity, and trepanning.

Yes indeed, Red Fez shot caller Michele McDannold has asked me to write this months editors intro, because her keyboard has been repossessed by the finance company, and her Dragon Naturally Speaking software was hopelessly corrupted by an unexpected internet phone call from Kim Wu.

I can tell you that theres been a lot of planning going on in Fez Land this month. Were putting together a reading in Toledo, Ohio, August 6. Its called Zygote in My Fez and will mark the release of print publications Red Fez Reader #1 and Zygote In My Coffee Anthology #8.

Thanks and tip o the fez in advance to our hosts, John Dorsey and Michael Grover of Toledos Collingwood Arts Center, who are both working hard to make this event necessary. It never hurts to have two of Americas top poets on your team when putting together a reading!

Of course everyone is invited to this free event. Check out the event details and reader list on the Fez facebook page, or have mumbling cousin Albert call up Tim Murrays radio show and ask for the details!

A lot of different literary gangs are going to be represented in Toledo. Theres the Fezzies, Zygotes, Collingwood Boyz, Beards, and the remnants of the ULA, to name just a few. I am not sure how Dorsey is going to maintain order with all that creative tension gathered in one place. I can cover up my ULA neck tattoos if I should run into an 826er. I can keep my smart mouth shut if I encounter someone who still carries a grudge from my years on da Zygote message boardz. But the bright red fez surgically attached to my gigantic head is kinda hard to ignore!

If the fellows and young ladies of the various lit crews should get a tad rowdy, perhaps its because most writers dont get out much. We sit in poorly lit rooms crafting the same sentence over and over again, with almost no human contact aside from Mother (or someone) leaving bags of Andy Capps cheese fries in the hallway every few days. At least thats the way it works for me. So on the one day of the year we get to see The Outside World and meet people that have been sending us imperious directives and vituperative via email for the past seven years, thats a bit of an event.

Being in the employ of Red Fez Entertainment has been the purest experience Ive ever had on a literary project. Weve got an all-star crew assembled, people that know their lit, know how to have fun, and know how to laugh at pretty much damn near everything. Plus, we all love what we do and care about Red Fez readers and writers, our talented cohorts. The massive identity theft and bank account skimming going on behind the scenes has nothing to do with it, nor the secret Canadian bank accounts that well all be living off in our twilight years. Completely irrelevant to the project. Forget I ever mentioned it.

So, enjoy issue #35 of Red Fez magazine. Oh and you can change the font color and the font size on the site now. In between getting hitched to a flesh-and-blood woman (a departure from his failed computerized first marriage), Fez founder and webzord Leopold McGinnis managed to give you all the power to adjust the text on the site. Must have been one hell of a honeymoon.

Your Red Fez friend,
Patrick Fez Simonelli
Fiction Editor

- Patrick Simonelli

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