Issue 103 Fiction Poetry Nonfiction Art + Photography Film Music Books For Creators more

Art History

 Anthony Spaeth
arrow_drop_down
 Anthony Spaeth
Art History
by Anthony Spaeth  FollowFollow
arrow_drop_down
It's not the Anthony Spaeth you're thinking of. It's the other one.
Art History
24906 3 1 0shareShare
Share:

Art History—the West Cave wall:  Man, bear, antelope, sunrise Inscribed clay tablet:  Man covered in thick body hair and perhaps a boat (fragmentary) Tile fresco:  Several effete men, marble bath, gushing fountain Illuminated Bible:  Man in purple robe with crown of thorns, grimacing Marble sculpture:  Men with small penises mincing around a pool (copy from the Greek) Tapestry:  Man with sword, mythical beast, rosy-cheeked maiden Oil painting:  Man seated in high-backed chair, beard, fraise, appears constipated Granite sculpture:  Man, seated, propping his chin up with his fist, pondering nothingness Pastel on paper:  Man, woman, sailboat, water, trees, sun, moon, clouds, herd of running horses, flowery meadow, distant snow-capped mountains Latex and croutons:  “Dead Man” (could also be pool of vomit) Excrement:  Stick figure with giant penis
Art History—the East Clay figurine:  Could be a lion, could be a dog, could be a dragon Jade pebble:  Thousands of tiny characters that must have taken years to carve (meaning lost) Fired clay pot:  Seated monarch with extraordinarily long mustache, four child concubines Bronze gong:  Large, round man wearing patchwork robe, appears drunk Ornate box:  Two dimensional wood-burned image of ancient tree located on impossible prominence at the very edge of sheer cliff Lacquered screen:  Monks trudging stolidly up mountainside toward remote pagoda Silk kimono:  Hundreds of brightly-colored, imaginary flowers Blocky statue:  It could be any fascist B&W photo:  Transsexual in geisha outfit doing French exhale Placard above sink:  “Please remember to thoroughly wash hands” translated into six languages Cell phone novel:  16 year old girl raped by elderly neighbor, marries well, retreats into melancholy
Art History—Africa Cave wall:  Stick figure with giant penis Golden sarcophagus:  Slender, effeminate king with large breasts Clay pot:  Slaves in the field, reaping barley Illumination:  Young Saint Augustine stealing a pear Steel:  Ornamental scimitar inscribed with gold:  “Allah Akbar” Wood and nails:  Mask of evil Ogwegwu spirit that rots yams and causes birth defects Ivory and filigree:  The elephant from which it came, bedecked in golden armor B&W photo:  Pile of severed hands, slave with limp grip on bloody axe B&W photo:  White hunter in pith helmet, drooping mustache, seated in high back chair with rifle broken open across his knee Charcoal on paper:  Prisoner’s drawing of the prison at sunset with long seductive shadows Textile:  Brightly-colored, imaginary flowers against a lime green field Rally poster:  Enraged politician in cheap suit, screaming, pointing at the sky Spray paint on wall:  Self portrait of “Gangsta BOO” holding hand grenade and gigantic bong

Art History—North America Stone and flint:  Clovis point lodged in fossilized mammoth rib Petroglyph:  Bowman trailing deer Deerskin and sinew:  Moccasin lined with cheap glass beads Fired clay:  L-shaped tobacco pipe inscribed with name of nobleman Etching:  George Washington holding trowel and compass, staring into the future Daguerreotype:  Pistol, rifle, stone-faced killer Sepia print:  Obese naked woman wearing eyeblack, golden belt, black veil B&W photo:  Soldier staring grimly at the helmet in his hands B&W television:  Nuclear family including barely-closeted homosexual, sexy blonde witch, evil brunette witch, meddling mother witch and innocent witch child Silkscreen:  Soup can and buxom model with oversized hot-pink lips Billboard:  Leather-skinned cowboy smoking cigarette on horseback while pondering infinity Wall-sized glossy:  Upskirt of leatherette mini, trimmed pubes, asscrack
Art History—Central and South America Jade:  Knife shaped like a penis Fired red clay:  Recumbent divinity with hands spread to accept sacrificial heart Steele:  Jaguar King driving porcupine quill through his scrotum while screaming at the sun Oil painting:  Atahualpa on the day of his christening and strangulation Gold:  Christian icon made from melted pagan icon Stained glass:  Winged Madonna with hands folded in quiescent prayer 1,000 page novel:  Dreamlike account of young lovers frolicking in pre-Columbian utopia Plaster and cocaine:  Jesus wearing gold cape, smiling broadly, giving the “thumbs up” Side of bus:  Blonde variety show hostess with E-cups preparing to fellate a microphone

0 comments

Discussion

There are no comments yet...
 

';

People who liked this also liked

Corrective Shoes and Colonics

Poem of the Week

Darker Than It Was Before

Story of the Week

To build a fire

Author of the Week

Jessica Dawson is a modern-day Wendy. She lives in California with Peter Pan, a preschool diva and a future statistic, unfortunately. She’s the author of one book of poetry, Fossil Fuels (Verve Bath Press), and has had poems published in Thunder...read more Sandwich, The Montucky Review, Passenger May, killpoet, Words Dance, Remark., Nefarious Ballerina, and
Jessica Dawson
0 likes | 0 followers | 0 creations

Author of the Week

Dublin-born Anglo-Irish poet, who took up verse as a child in rural Ireland and is now a rampant word addict. He has published five collections of original poetry since his first collection in 2001, and recently published a selected poetry collection....read more He actually owns a red fez covered in mirrors and jewels called his writing crown.
Vincent S. Coster
0 likes | 0 followers | 0 creations

Poem of the Week

Darker Than It Was Before

Story of the Week

To build a fire

Author of the Week

Jessica Dawson is a modern-day Wendy. She lives in California with Peter Pan, a preschool diva and a future statistic, unfortunately. She’s the author of one book of poetry, Fossil Fuels (Verve Bath Press), and has had poems published in Thunder...read more Sandwich, The Montucky Review, Passenger May, killpoet, Words Dance, Remark., Nefarious Ballerina, and
Jessica Dawson
0 likes | 0 followers | 0 creations

Author of the Week

Dublin-born Anglo-Irish poet, who took up verse as a child in rural Ireland and is now a rampant word addict. He has published five collections of original poetry since his first collection in 2001, and recently published a selected poetry collection....read more He actually owns a red fez covered in mirrors and jewels called his writing crown.
Vincent S. Coster
0 likes | 0 followers | 0 creations