Dos Gardenias

for Kate O’Donnell (First published in Menacing Hedge, 2015)


I need to tell you how days drag now
that you’re gone; no phone calls or Skype.
 
The light is never bright or warm. No one 
wants to dance. Today I emptied an old bottle 
 
of your pills, packed it with Hindu Kush,
drove to the beach. Lit up.
 
It’s legal now in California.
 
I play your favorite music; Buena Vista 
Social Club, Ibrahim Ferrer. 
 
Remember that yellow bikini you used to wear?
It made you look invincible, like a star. 
 
I’d wear the Che Guevara cap you brought 
from Cuba when we danced, girl on girl 
to Dos Gardenias. Our song. 
 
Your breasts crushing mine. 
Those signature gardenias pinned in your hair.
 
Now I dance alone, my screen dark. 
I will not weep. You’d hate it.
 
Since you died, I play Dos Gardenias
every day, and the way the palm trees sway 
breaks my heart.
 
You’re out there, dancing, 
aren’t you?
 
Your yellow bikini a beacon, if only I could find it
in the star-crossed night.
 
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About Alexis Rhone Fancher


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Alexis Rhone Fancher is the author of How I Lost My Virginity To Michael Cohen and other heart stab poems, (2014), State of Grace: The Joshua Elegies, (2015), and the brand new erotic, LA-centric collection, Enter Here. She is published in The Best American Poetry, 2016, Rattle, Slipstream, Plume, Nashville Review,...read more Diode, Glass, and elsewhere. Her photos are published worldwide. Since 2013 Alexis has been nominated for 11 Pushcart Prizes and 4 Best of the Net awards. Alexis is poetry editor of Cultural Weekly.
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