This Poem May Harm Your Computer
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This Poem May Harm Your Computer

 Philip Tinkler
 Philip Tinkler
This Poem May Harm Your Computer
by Philip Tinkler  FollowFollow
Philip Tinkler was born aged 5 in the bucolic north of England. Philip studied Cryptozoology, Forteana, and Cereal Box Brain Teasers at more esteemed made-up Universities throughout his mind. He is a two-time winner of the Time Travel Backslap Awards, first In 1854, and again in the future. He currently lives in Americaland, where he enjoys enjoying himself and whittling wood in his spare moments. He has been published in places such as Hobart, the Mad Hatters' Review, Red Fez, The Legendary, and Word Riot. His collection of short stories, The Naked Prayerbook, is available at LucidPlay Publishing. He lives in NYC and can be found at
This Poem May Harm Your Computer
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I received my online doctorate
from Anthony Hopkins University
I sailed a 9-inch Alaskan Cruise
and opened my practice in Africa
I made a Great $aving the Prince
of Nigeria, all 495,406 of them
all named Spycam Osthuzen !808!
all (no subject) to the throne

I joined an Asian Singles site
despite being married and white
I met a sweet local gal, called
Horny-Ass Tallulah, 18, Astoria
she sells Solar Panels to Russia
I asked for her hand in marriage
but she's terribly old-fashioned
and always (not responding)



  3 years ago
I think I just got a virus.

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